I Could Have
by DisneyGirl10
Summary: I could have been there. I could have tried. To help you fight the darkness inside. I could have tried. I could have been there. To save you from your fall of despair. (Ahsoka and Anakin friendship tragedy. Takes place 3 months post Revenge of the Sith. Please review, fave, follow and please enjoy!)


**Hey everyone.**

 **Now, this is #3. I was thinking of doing this with my OC but Ahsoka was better. This is a what if, like what if Ahsoka grieved over the loss of everyone; especially Anakin? I know she doesn't know about what happened to him until in Star Wars Rebels. But, this is a what if, so this happens 3 months after _Revenge of the Sith._**

 **Also, the** _words_ **you see in between are an original song I made up to put in this called _"I Could Have"_. Just imagine Ahsoka singing it while during her grieving. This is in Ahsoka's POV. It's gonna be sad, so prepare the tissues!**

 **I do NOT own Star Wars: The Clone Wars. If I did, then Skyguy and Snips would still be together. But I don't. Aw!**

 **But enjoy!**

* * *

It has been three months since the Republic fell. Three months since the Empire rose. Three months since I lost my friends, my old home, everything.

But most of all, I lost a master.

A mentor.

And a great friend; one I could never forget nor replace.

Ever.

I was on my home plant Shili, with my people, the only family I truly have left. But Master Obi-Wan has gone into hiding, Padme is dead, Master Yoda has also gone into hiding, and Anakin … he's gone forever. He longer is Anakin Skywalker. But Darth Vader. Sith Lord and apprentice to Chancellor Palpatine – who was really Darth Sidious this whole time – who rules the whole galaxy with an iron fist.

Obi-Wan told me everything that happened. The death of Count Dooku. The death of General Grievous. The start of Order 66. The deaths of so many Jedi. The death of Senator Amidala and the birth of her twin children, Luke and Leia. And the loss of my best friend and brother.

But I'm still here.

The one who left the Jedi Order for good. The one who stayed hidden while the war continued. The one who stood by and watched as everything fell apart.

As I walked around the village, most of the people stay out working on the fields or selling produce and clothes. While some stay indoors and take shelter from what the outside brings; what lies out there in deep space. I do. I end up at a lake, with a small alien-looking forest surrounding it. I looked down to my reflection, only to see a ghost of a reflection. Of what I once was and no longer am.

I frowned and fiddled with my fingers, reflecting on everything that had been … and what _could_ have been.

 _I could have been there._

 _I could have tried._

 _To help you fight the darkness inside._

 _I could have tried._

 _I could have been there._

 _To save you from your fall of despair._

I started walking beside the edge, staring as the water ripples reveal all the memories of when it began. To the day we first met.

 _It feels like yesterday._

 _When we met in different ways._

 _You didn't want anything to do with me._

 _But I made you see things differently._

 _Who would have thought in the end_

 _That we'd end up as friends?_

I smirked as I remembered when I first arrived on the planet Christophis, where I met Obi-Wan, Rex, the 501st and Anakin for the very first time. I was excited when Master Yoda said I would be assigned as Anakin's padawan. _The_ Anakin Skywalker; the Hero with No Fear, the Chosen One as some would call him, was going to be my Master, my teacher, and my soon to be best friend.

 _You were cocky._

 _I was snippy._

 _You were reckless._

 _I was fearless._

 _Yet, in many ways, we thought the same._

I made it to the west side of the lake, walking carefully around the big roots from the trees in the ground. But just like them, through every twist and turn, I made it through. We made it through. It was never easy. But we made it.

As Master and Apprentice.

Anakin and Ahsoka.

Skyguy and Snips. I smirked a bit at remembering when he first called me that.

But then I frowned.

 _Until one day …_

 _When everything went insane._

I stopped to look down, and see the ripples grew more. More stronger. More fiercer.

 _And now, you're gone._

 _And now, you're gone._

 _I could have done something._

 _I could have took your place._

 _But instead, I let myself become a disgrace._

I let it happen. All of it. I left the Order. I left the one place I could call home. I left behind all my training, all my friends, everything. And I never looked back. Not once. I had regrets. I just never would have thought that this would be one of them.

 _But it wasn't meant to be._

I could have stopped him from turning.

 _Come what may …_

I could have stopped Palpatine – Sidious. I could have stopped the Order from falling. I could have been there for him. For all of them.

 _Until one day._

I should have stayed. I should have done something. I should have run back, returned to the Temple, and see him. Even if I wasn't willing to join the Order again, I would have at least gone there to see him, see Obi-Wan, and see Padme as well. I should have been there to support him and his wife; which Obi-Wan told me of their secret marriage as well. I was shocked but that pretty much explained everything. And I should have been there to stop him from killing her and costing her her life.

But instead, I was too blinded by my own needs and wants to see the truth.

 _I could have been there._

 _I could have tried._

Barriss was right. As much as I hate to admit it, she was, in some ways, right. The Republic was an army fighting for the Dark Side. The Clone Wars, the battles, the losses of so many people, the clones, all of this … it was all _his_ doing. The Emperor's.

 _To help you fight the darkness inside._

It's because of him that we lost this war. That we let the Republic, the Senate, all the goodness in the galaxy crumble to his reign in power. That I lost all my friends; my family. I grit my teeth, I clenched my fists, I shut my eyes tightly, every time I think about all this.

 _I could have tried._

 _I could have been there._

 _To save you from your fall of despair._

I don't usually think about it this much. Sometimes, now and then. But now, now I was letting all the floodgates open. Everything poured out of me.

 _And now, you're gone._

 _And now, you're gone._

I stopped where I was. And out of pure frustration, anger, and fury, I kicked at the tree next to me. I kicked it, scraped it, punched it, and used the Force to tear it down. I could have used my light-saber, but I no longer have it. I left it behind, just like everything else.

I did the same thing to some others trees, scaring away any wildlife that lives out here. I don't know why I was doing this. I guess taking it out on nature instead of actual people would be best, plus I had to take out all my anger out on something right this very moment or else, if I keep it closed, I thought I'd explode!

 _I should have been there._

Why did you have to do this, Skyguy?

Why did you kill her, your own wife?

Why did you have to fight your master, your best friend, your brother?

Why did you have to destroy everything you stood for: good?

Why, why, why?!

I screamed it all out and used the Force to push back all the trees in my path, making them come crashing down, causing loud snapping noises to burst into the atmosphere.

 _I should have tried._

Why were you willing to give in to the fear, the anger, the hate?

Why did you have to resort to all this chaos, this destruction, this death?

Did you, for once, think any of this through?

No, of course not!

Because you're so thick-headed, that you can't get enough oxygen to that pig-headed brain of yours!

 _But I lost you._

I clawed at the last tree I could reach when I felt all my energy depleted. So, I slide down the trunk, to my knees, and I just cried. I cried for what felt like hours, my sobs finally taking over.

I cried for all the dead Jedi, for the younglings that were slaughtered, the thousands of people that have suffered. For Yoda, Master Plo-Koon, Barriss (even though she betrayed me and the Order before, it was this war and its dark corruption that made me lose her), Obi-Wan, Padme, and most of all Anakin.

 _To the dark side._

I finally stopped crying. I wiped away my tears and peaked over to the lake. I saw myself before I saw shimmers of my fallen friends, allies, and family.

Lastly, I saw Anakin standing next to me. He crouched down and touched my shoulder. He smiled at me, not dark and coldly, but with warmth and care. I gasped then I turned around to see no one there. I was all alone. I looked back to see he was no longer there.

And he never would be.

"If only I could have tried."

* * *

 ***blows into tissue***

 **I have no words. None. Just tears! T-T**

 **Oh, Skyguy and Snips forever! Not shipping, just as brother/sister and BFF's forever, that's all!**

 **So, you know the drill.**

 **And until next time, bye guys!**


End file.
